Surviving the Age of Cruft by Zach Shukan
Part 1: Msconfig

cruft

/kruhft/ [very common; back-formation from crufty] 1. n. An unpleasant substance. The dust that gathers under your bed is cruft; the TMRC Dictionary correctly noted that attacking it with a broom only produces more. 2. n. The results of shoddy construction. 3. vt. [from `hand cruft', pun on `hand craft'] To write assembler code for something normally (and better) done by a compiler (see hand-hacking). 4. n. Excess; superfluous junk; used esp. of redundant or superseded code.

The most common questions my friends and friends of my friends ask me are “Why is my machine getting so slow and what can I do about it?” and "I feel like there are a zillion programs installed and I want to clean it up but I don't know what I can get rid of safely". That's why I'd like to warn you all of the impending era known as the Age of Cruft and tell you that you must take action now or you too will be destroyed by popup advertisements and/or spinning hourglasses.

I'm writing this series for those of you who feel confident about taking a stand against your computer. Remember, you can win the war against the cruft despite all of your other shortcomings.

MSConfig
MSConfig is a neat little program that has been built into all of the versions of windows since windows 98 and it's basically a wart remover for the soft gooey skin of windows. It is by no means the end all and be all of cruft-cleaning, but it's easy to use and therefore a good first line of attack in the war (the War against the Cruft; did you really forget so soon?). Here is a step-by-step tutorial for using msconfig:

Step 1: Close all programs that are running.

Step 2: Click on your start menu and then on "Run..." and type "msconfig" into the window that comes up (see Diagram 1a). The program, msconfig, is an excellent way for you to view and edit some of the configuration of your windows programs, especially those that run when you first start up windows. I must warn you that this is not a toy and if you do decide to get explorative with msconfig you may find many ways to make your machine impotent, so be careful.

Step 3: Now click the "Startup" tab (Diagram 1b) and you will now see a list of programs that are currently set to start up every time you start windows. Uncheck anything you have deemed not useful (look here to see a list of what each of these programs does, and if you need advice on which ones are worth keeping).

Step 4: Reboot your machine and enjoy a slightly less crufty machine.

Step 5: Rinse and repeat as necessary. You may find that the process of using msconfig to clean up your machine is akin to slowly killing a multi-headed beast with an eyedropper full of acid (see figure 1c), but you will feel better about yourself in the morning knowing that you are making a difference in the war against cruft.

That's it for now... you can look forward to my next installment of this series where I'll give you more advice and tools for combating this new form of global terrorism... CRUFT.